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The dating scene has changed tremendously especially for men, you meet a lady today and a week later she demands a lifetime commitment from you. What these ladies fail to understand is that guys are very particular when it comes to choosing someone for a serious relationship that could possibly lead to marriage. The following is a list of the 7 least desirable traits in a lady; please drop them if you wish to be considered for a long-term relationship.

1)    The ‘Socialite mentality’

The ‘socialite mentality’ is a disease that seems to have afflicted most 20-something-year-old ladies. Signs of this malady are manifested by a sudden realization that one is the ‘hottest’ in the continent hence the need to divert the world’s attention from the lost Malaysian plane to them. The infected immediately strips naked, jumps on the bed posing suggestively as a friend captures this ‘amazing’ sight on a cheap android phone. The pictures are then uploaded on Instagram then shared on twitter.

In a few hours, all online forums and tabloids can’t stop glorifying her shapely derrière inviting her for radio interviews. 2 weeks later another lady shares her nude pictures, too bad she has a bigger rear so the spotlight shifts to her and nobody remembers the other lady. If you want to capture the attention and earn the respect of the 7 billion people on earth go the Lupita Nyon’go’s way. Explore your talents, develop your ideas and work relentlessly until you break a record. Then only the men leading equally successful lives will have the guts to ask you out.

2)    Anti-family

Any responsible man holds his family with the highest regard. He will go out of his way to create time for his parents and take very good care of them at all cost. Before considering a lady for a serious relationship a man will first try to ascertain her view towards family. If she disrespects her parents, lives oblivious of her sibling’s welfare and dislikes kids then she is considered anti-family. In the guys mind the lady will make a poor wife, starve his aging parents and probably chase away his siblings whenever they come visiting.

There is also a crop of ladies who are so close to their fathers/mothers yet raise ruckus whenever the guy wants to spend some quality time with his family especially the mother. Trying to compete with a guy’s mother for his attention especially before he slips the ring on your finger is a lost cause.

3)    Religious fanatism

It’s every man’s wish to get a wife with strong religious beliefs so that his kids can grow up with some sense of morality. However, there is a clear line between being a staunch believer and a fanatic. It raises red flags when the lady quotes her pastor more than the good book and uses his/her words to justify her actions. “My pastor said we shouldn’t have sex until we get married!”  I’m not entirely against waiting but let this be your personal decision not because your spiritual leader said so.

It’s quite annoying for a girl to go for prayer meetings every weekday, ‘Keshas’ on Saturday’s and hardly spare some time to hang out with you, her boyfriend. The guy ends up feeling like a total stranger and worst of all if she insists on going to church without a bra and panties because the bishop said that’s what is inhibiting her blessings. Strike a balance between your love and spiritual life. Also, refrain from demonizing anyone who doesn’t subscribe to your beliefs instead practice tolerance.

4)    Lack of ambition

If you wish to have a guy consider you for a serious relationship then you should at least get focused with your life. Get your priorities straight, have ambitions, work towards achieving your goals and take your studies or job seriously. If all your ‘future plans’ happen to be on where the next coolest party is then, don’t expect any guy to take you seriously.

All men subconsciously consider ladies who bear qualities close to their mothers as eligible candidates for serious relationships. Practice moderation, striving to be responsible and industrious. Every man wants the assurance that the lady he is getting hitched to is hardworking enough that in case he passes on his children will never sleep hungry.



5)    Extreme Materialism

Since the days of the cavemen, women only mate with those who can provide and protect their families. However, it’s totally wrong to stick with a guy just because he can afford to sustain your expensive lifestyle only to disappear when their cash flow recedes.  It’s easy to smell a gold-digger miles away. All you ever get to do with her is hang out in fancy places, shop in high-end boutiques and never get to have any meaningful conversations or share intimate details about your lives.

Once a guy realizes you are just there for his possessions he re-strategizes. You become his trophy girlfriend. He may buy you a nice car and a house but will have them both under his name. In the event you go separate ways, he will send goons to repossess the car and throw you out of the cool crib.

6)    False sense of importance

Such a lady has a bloated ego and false sense of importance. She acts like she is doing the guy a favor by being with him. He is therefore expected to be so grateful that he worships her. It’s rather draining to date a lady who is convinced you were sorely created to serve her. She will expect you to drop all your plans and run to her side whenever she wants. Since she believes that she can get any man on the planet, whenever you fight she is inclined to issue ultimatums.

This kind of lady snobs the people she considers to have poor tastes ranging from fashion, music all the way to cuisines. For such a lady, a long term relationship is out of the question. A guy who wants to settle down would rather go for someone who is humble. She should be able to associate well with everyone from the house help to the obnoxious friend.

7)     Selfishness

Some time back, a girl I really liked invited me over to her place at around 7 pm. I immediately rushed there and found her preparing dinner. I’m not passionate about cooking but you know how women can inspire a guy to do things they wouldn’t on a normal day. So I helped with the preparations and the meal was ready within an hour.

I found it odd that she only served one plate then I thought maybe she wanted us to share. To my surprise, she went curled up on the couch opposite me and ate everything on her plate. She even had a second serving (clearing the pot in the process) before asking “Dear, did you take supper before coming over?”

The funniest thing is that all the time I spent there with her she kept hinting how we would make a great couple and probably marry after college. I know what you are thinking, I’m not a foodie! Just be honest, would you seriously consider getting hitched to a lady who has the audacity to take two plates full of food without offering you a single bite?

By Mark Maina


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