7 Things Every Pretty Boy Should Know


Pretty boy syndrome (prettyboitis) afflicts mostly men below the age of 25 who are generally considered good looking. A Pretty boy thinks of himself as a God-given gift to mankind. Pretty boys are obsessed with their looks, display narcissistic tendencies and have egos bigger than the Egyptian pyramids. They would do absolutely anything to court attention.

To make it worse such guys are convinced they can have any lady they fancy hence abhor commitments. Why get tied down when you can always get a better catch? A Pretty boy is simply the male version of a Prima donna. Having being cured of this malaise, I have compiled the following list of 7 things every pretty boy should know.

1)    Not every lady finds you attractive

Since the last three ladies you hooked up with made the first move makes you feel like the hottest dude in town, therefore any lady spending time with you ought to feel honored. However, a few days ago you met this pulchritudinous beauty who seems immune to your charm. No matter how hard you try showcasing your funky side she only becomes colder and distant. She avoids you like plague and even your funniest jokes don’t seem to amuse her. So you drop your principles, invest time and energy trying to unravel why she is too blind to realize what a great catch you are.

Sorry to burst your bubble, not every girl finds you irresistible. Different women are attracted by different things in a man. You may imagine every lady’s attention is captured by your well-sculpted biceps only to find out that this particular beau is attracted to bald guys. Too bad, your hairy sketchy legs don’t meet the threshold. So the next time a lady is not intoxicated with your awesomeness don’t beat yourself up, chances are she is fascinated by traits you don’t possess or just prefers real men to pretty boys.

2)    A man should be able to throw a punch

A man should never avoid physical tasks like changing a tire because that may spoil his well manicured nails. By the sheer fact you posses the male biological apparatus you must act like a man. This means you don’t cry in public, devour nyama choma using a fork and knife (that’s an ignominy to goats) or call yourself pretty boy particularly if your official name is something like Matendechere.

I’m largely against violence. I believe sane individuals should try other means of resolving disputes before going after one another’s throat. Although, there are situations when throwing punches is a lot more effective than diplomacy. Picture this, you chilling in a club then some pervert gropes at your lady, would you engage him in an intellectual discourse on the importance of respecting women or pound the buggers face to a pulp?

3)    Treat obsessive ladies with respect

As a pretty boy, you are bound to have a string of ladies who would do anything for you. They are so obsessed that you can break their hearts, mumble an apology and they will gladly accept you back. Having one greatly boosts a man’s ego, with time you begin taking her for granted. This goes on until she meets another guy who treats her like a queen. It suddenly hits her, all that time you have been taking her for a ride so she begins hating you.

It really sucks to see a lass who would previously sacrifice everything for you now loathe you with equal passion. Treat all women in your life with the kind of respect they deserve. Never take any woman for granted especially one who is obsessed with you.

4)    Runway fashion hardly works in real life

What looks cool on the runway more often than not looks ridiculous when worn for a casual walk in town. Before investing into some fashion trend, it’s prudent to consult a sober-minded and fashionable person who can then help you choose what blends seamlessly with your physique, personality, and occasion. Inasmuch as you strive to stand out of the crowd your dressing should look effortless. People easily notice when you try too hard to impress or donning what doesn’t suit your body type.

That said, carrying a bright colored manbag to a soccer game only works well with Christiano. Only pick what best suits you from the runway. Remember walking around with a couple other guys in a similar attire makes you all look like a bunch of uncreative immature dudes unless it’s a job requirement.

5)    Be humble, you are not the center of the universe

The world is on the brink of turning into one big battlefield so don’t get depressed when no one seems to be paying attention to your highness. Most people are too busy with their lives to notice that you are better looking than Papa Shirandula. It’s acceptable for women to go

It’s acceptable for women to go around proclaiming how beautiful they are but not men. The bitter truth is that there are a million other men out there who are taller, muscular and prettier than you. The only way you can truly stand out of the crowd is by doing something great with your life. Be humble, pick a cause worth fighting for and pursue it instead of spending all your time on the mirror.

6)    A man must make his own money

Thanks to the modern-day women who work twice harder, men can now live off their sweat. I know a few guys who have accumulated sizeable fortunes by scheming lonely wealthy women. Jack* is now furnishing a magnificent mansion situated in an enviable neighborhood thanks to his girlfriend’s money. What the lady doesn’t know is that whole construction was financed by his ex-gf and as soon as it’s complete he intends to drop her and get a real wife. His advice to me, “

His advice to me, “Maish, all women want to feel beautiful, loved and secure. All you need is to tell them exactly want they want to hear. If you Appeal to a woman’s emotional part, she will gladly loosen strings to her purse and you will never have to work a day in your life.

What happens when you get involved in a road accident and lose your pretty face? Will she still stick by you? To earn the respect of his woman and kids, a man must work for his own money. It also helps one sleep at night knowing you don’t need to fulfill someone else sexual fantasies to earn a living.

7)    Integrity, courage, and sense of responsibility makes a man

Since time immemorial men are judged by their character, courage, and ability to provide. Being able to sire kids who would be pretty at their worst doesn’t make you a great father. You must be able to take care of the people who matter most, be there for them at all times and protect them with your life. Marriage is totally different from casual dating where you can easily drop a girl for another.

In addition to having good looks, cultivate a sense of responsibility in you, muster some courage and become a man of integrity in order to be an eligible husband material.

Written by Mark Maish


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  1. 1

    Thats very true…atleast an ugly man with cash u would fool your senses….a handsome boy u will fool ua concience…hehee big up

  2. 3
    Eve Kihara

    This piece is prodigious…………… Waah you nailed it Maish. I hate men who feel “sweet” and think every girl will hit on them, once i notice such a lad i make him feel how primitive he is. On the ugly n broke bloke he should work hard on his pocket and character n girls will look his way. I hope you also resonate with the saying that “Mwanaume ni wallet sura tutavumilia”. Don’t take it literally please………….. As for me it means a man got to have a sense of responsibility.

  3. 9
    Mncedisi M. Mtsefwa

    Mark, how old are you, u look like you still a “pretty boy” hahaha. just jokin bro. I read your article on ”The Kenya’s Middle Class Nightmare” and then I was forced into liking your blog. You so creative dude.

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