Hi brother, I hope you are well. I woke up to another long text from mother pleading with me not to give up on you. To tell you the truth I gave up. I tried my best to always see the positive in you but each time I ended up hurt and disappointed. You know what they say, it’s those whom we love that can hurt us most. Brother, I love you and always will but I can’t do this anymore.
It’s been two weeks since you were suspended from school for the umpteenth time. For three nights mother couldn’t sleep because she couldn’t find you. She went to police stations, hospitals and even morgues looking for you. You didn’t go home or even contact her when you left school leaving her worried sick. Man, don’t you know she is hypertensive? Why would you put her through such an ordeal? After days of frantic search, one of your friends finally revealed where you were. He said you were living on the streets with street kids because you felt we don’t love you.
How can you even insinuate that? Having seen how much mom and dad have sacrificed to give you the life you have, you broke their hearts to a million pieces. You prefer living on the cold streets of Nairobi to staying in the cozy house, where you are showered with love, affection, good food, a warm bed and more tech gadgets than you can play with? Just ask the chokoras whether they would mind trading places with you even for a day. Mother called me in tears seeking my advice on what to do with you since you didn’t want to come home. I asked her to let you live in the streets for a while until the hard life drives some senses into your head but guess what? She wouldn’t let that happen, “No Mark I can’t let my son live on the streets, he is family and despite all his shortcomings we have to love him and always help him.” Even after breaking her heart, she couldn’t stand seeing you suffer.
As the firstborn and eldest brother it’s my duty to prepare you for the real world so grab a seat and start taking notes. The only people in the universe who care and love you unconditionally is mom and dad, not even I, your blood brother. The sad part is they are only here for a while, once they are gone the world is going to turn into a very cold place. You think dad doesn’t love you? Well, ask around how many men spend time with their children. See despite father’s tight schedule he always creates time for his wife and sons. You probably don’t know this, he grew up without a father and promised to always be there for his children, a promise he has kept yet you don’t see it. He has always paid for our tuition in time, ensured we eat absolutely anything we wish for, bought us designer clothes and always come to our aid whenever we needed him.
I haven’t told you this, some time back father showed me an excel sheet he uses to track expenditure. I was shocked to see that in two weeks he had spent Ksh 120,000 on you, kid brother, mother and I. All he had bought for himself was a pair of shoes. Can you believe that?
You and I have lived sheltered lives. Never lacked anything and have very loving and caring parents, parents who sacrifice their comfort to ensure we get the best opportunities. I guess this is probably what makes you think you are entitled. The only way we can truly appreciate them is by making good use of this chance and end up very successful men so that when they are old and weak we can also take care of them.
Get this from me, the world owes you nothing, the government doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you and even God doesn’t owe you a dime. The same applies to family, there are lots of people out there who were deserted by their family members who ought to have protected them and guess what, they turned out okay. Things have changed. Before it was easy for one to pull strings and have their sibling land a prestigious job but not anymore. The world doesn’t reward mediocrity; you have to prove your worth. Furthermore, if we can’t trust you enough to manage family business how do you expect me to ever recommend you to someone else? I can’t risk the chance of you breaking my trust and completely severe my networks.
You are probably wondering why I have so much bitterness; the thing is I have always wanted to conquer the world with you like the Wright brothers pioneered aviation. You probably don’t remember this, as a young boy other kids around our estate used to beat me up, so every evening I would cry to mother asking her to get me a brother who would have my back. After a couple of months, you were brought home from the supermarket (that’s where I thought kids came from). I was more than overjoyed to have a young brother. I spent pretty much all the time with you, fed you and tried to teach you how to fight even before you could walk. At that moment, I knew I would always have someone I can depend on. Flash forward to 2016 you are not a man I can depend on. I know it’s going to get to a point when the world would turn against me for one reason or another and the only people who might stand by me is family. Unfortunately, you have proved to be a man I can’t rely on.
There are times I am ashamed to be your brother, I know that may sound selfish but it’s the absolute truth. See you have dragged the family name in mud more times than I can count. You have made us the talk of our estate. Sometimes when I walk around the neighborhood I see people talking in hush tones while pointing their fingers at me. You have always been the subject of discussion in most of our family gatherings and I feel enough is enough. You have to realize you are a man and a man must learn how to solve his problems. I have always rushed to rescue you whenever you got in trouble, prayed and hoped you will see the light with little success that’s why I have to step back and let you figure out your life.
I am your brother but I can’t spend the rest of my life worrying about you or helping you solve your problems. From now onwards I will avoid you until you grow some balls and take charge of your life. Respect is earned not given.
Maybe I’m a nasty person but one thing, without a doubt, is that family means everything to me. I want my little brother back, I want to be proud of you and I still want to conquer the world with you.