Attempting to demystify Joe Chuma is akin to licking your elbow. He is the ultimate gentleman, heated in a furnace of courage, hammered by intellect, cooled in a pool of suaveness, encrusted in courage and polished by wit. Joe Chuma is the standard measurement of masculinity, whose exploits feel like a Marvel movie, I bet superman is envious of the man.
Due to public demand, I have complied the following list of things you should know about Joe Chuma;
#1 Having the wisdom of a sage and gifted with an IQ higher than Albert Einstein’s, Joe Chuma gave his teachers homework and private classes throughout his schooling.
#2 Leonardo da Vinci was a little know renaissance artist until he met Joe Chuma who gave Mona Lisa her smile, inspiring the greatest piece of art painting.
#3 Martin Luther King Jr had a dream, Joe Chuma woke him up.
#4 His sweat is the cure for the common cold. Some enterprising fella is in the process of launching an industry to bottle Joe Chuma’s sweat, export it world-wide and eradicate the common cold in a day.
#5 Whenever Dr Phil is having relationship problems, Joe Chuma is the first person he calls for advice.
#6 Famed for his piercing look all competitors chickened out on learning they would face Joe Chuma. He was forced to face himself. Guess what, he won a staring contest with his own reflection.
#7 Joe Chuma uses Viagra as eye drops just to look hard.
#8 When other babies played with shakers Joe Chuma played with dumbbells giving him the most sculptured body in sub-Saharan Africa.
#9 On his 17th birthday Joe Chuma gave his father “the talk” and a packet of KISS condoms.
#10 He would like to thank all his fans who voted for him and participated in the #JCforPrezzo competition, and wants them to know that he will be rewarding the winner very soon. He’s got lots of surprises in store for the men who are not afraid to give their girls a Kiss.
And to all the men blowing up my phone wanting to know if I did ever find out Victoria’s Secret…..I did. But I have been sworn to secrecy. So keep following Joe Chuma’s incredible life, he might just let you in on it.