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THE NAKED GIRL

I have lost count of the times I have tapped the steering wheel. My phone buzzes. For a second I weigh whether to pick it or not. What the heck, I can’t think straight when it comes to her.

Kevin, where are you? I really need to get out of here,” goes Adele’s frail voice.

“I’ll be there in a few. Just hold on.”

“Okay. Hurry up.”

CHIPS FUNGA TURNS TRAGIC

Photo courtesy: hellobeautiful.com

It’s one of those Fridays you feel quite lost. You have watched all movies on your computer and your girlfriend, well she hasn’t been talking to you for the last three days just because you forgot your anniversary. Seriously, how do women expect us to remember birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentines? For Pete’s sake, lets just combine all these days and celebrate them on one day say 1st January? I mean we already other important things to occupy our minds like soccer and cars.

While contemplating on how to add some excitement to your night, Dan, your neighbor pops in. He suggests you visit the new local bar. When someone mentions a local bar, the image that comes to mind is a shitty, stuffy room with rickety wooden benches for seats, full of old Kikuyu men talking about their waru farms back in Nyahururu. The only female present is the no-nonsense barmaid with cheap makeup and probably a 40-something-year-old woman with a stinky weave and a black petticoat protruding beneath her grey skirt-suit. However, Dan is a great wingman so you give it a shot.

8 SECRETS TO BECOMING A MULTIMILLIONAIRE!

Earlier today, I met Mr. Charles Njiru a.k.a. Mkombozi, a multi-millionaire industrialist based in Mwea, Kenya. Mr. Njiru owns the largest privately owned rice processing factory in Africa, Nice Rice Millers, valued at Ksh. 300 million. He also owns a supermarket in Embu and has vast interests in the hotel, transport and agrochemicals sectors.

He was awarded state commendation in 2011 by the former president, Mwai Kibaki, for his massive contribution in uplifting the living standards of rice farmers in the expansive Mwea irrigation scheme. When I inquired about the secret behind acquiring such wealth, he shared with me the 8 secrets to becoming a multi-millionaire.