You are accommodating, nice and altruistic yet instead of the society appreciating your good virtues they take advantage of you every chance they get. You work hardest at work yet a pay raise or promotion isn’t forthcoming. You treat women like queens yet they break your heart and leave you for a jerk. Being a nice guy is just so difficult but does this mean you are condemned to spending the rest of your life overlooked at work and unlucky with women? Fortunately, there is a way out. The following are 9 things every nice guy should do in order to have better success with women and career.
Being a nice guy is just so difficult but does this mean you are condemned to spending the rest of your life overlooked at work and unlucky with women? Fortunately, there is a way out. The following are 9 things every nice guy should do in order to have better success with women and career.
1) Make your needs a priority
As a nice guy, you constantly contemplate the effects your decisions and actions have on other people avoiding anything that may harm them. You happily help others with their work assignments, take the blame for things you didn’t do to protect others and readily shelve your plans to attend to your woman’s trivial requests. Such sacrifices don’t make you a hero. They portray you as a spineless doormat everyone can step on to get what they want.
However selfish this may seem, you should make your needs a priority over everything else. Don’t waste your time on people who don’t add value to your life instead use it to for self-advancement. Hold yourself in high regard and demand everyone else to treat you with respect. Unless you doing it for charity don’t engage in any activity that doesn’t directly benefit you.
2) Take her off the pedestal
Do you feel like she is your main source of happiness and reason for living? Do you feel like without her life would lose meaning so you have to do everything within your power to keep her? Do you feel unworthy of her love? If the answer to the above questions is yes, then that’s precisely why she will friend zone or worse have a restraining order against you. Placing a woman on a pedestal puts so much pressure on her to achieve a level of perfection unachievable by human beings. Therefore, she finds you suffocating and annoying.
Learn to appreciate yourself, embrace your weaknesses and never love anyone else more than you love yourself. Bear in mind if you treat her like a celebrity and she will treat you like a stalker!
3) Stop waiting, take charge.
The success rate for scoring women between a bad boy and a nice guy is relatively the same. The only difference, nice guys take so much time and dedicate all their energy chasing one girl at a time and should they fail, they take months to lick their wounds and get back on the hunt. Stop waiting for her break up with her boyfriend so you offer a shoulder to cry on then seduce her. The idea of taking several months to ‘study her’ before declaring your intentions is mistaken since attraction if not acted on in time, fades away.
Just because 3 girls broke your heart doesn’t mean they all women are evil. Take some time off, reflect on how to improve your game then get back on the hunt.
4) Watch less romantic movies
Only a nice guy would carry a banquet of roses all over town to a simple coffee date and think it’s romantic. They constantly fret about doing grand romantic gestures to show how much they adore the lady which often backfires.
The most common romantic film story is a good guy (often poor & less appealing) falling in love with the most beautiful girl in the city. Unfortunately, the feeling isn’t mutual so she ends up eloping with the bad guy (rich & better looking). The nice guy vows never to give up on the love of his life so he endures rejection, heartache and lonely days. Years later the lady realizes her mistake and goes back to the nice guy, they marry, get beautiful kids and live happily thereafter!
That’s total bullshit! Such happy endings only happen in movies. If she doesn’t love you now don’t waste your life pursuing a lost cause. Treasure the women who treat you well and ignore those who don’t!
5) The world is unfair deal with it
All through school they said all you need in life is to work hard, be nice to others and you will get a well-paying job & a beautiful wife. That’s a total lie. The world owes you nothing! Playing the victim is a great turn off. Stop whining about how unfair the world is or fantasizing about how great it would be if life became fairer because that is not happening anytime soon.
You have to make a choice, would you rather spend the rest of your life as a victim or the perpetrator? If other guys are using shady methods to enrich themselves stop wishing they end up in hell instead negotiate to be part of the deal. Your goal should be to thrive not survive. This means taking advantage of people’s ignorance, exploiting your networks and sometimes engaging in corruption is fair game.
6) Communicate clearly
Being nice to her, going out of your way to help her out so she can realize you are the perfect partner hardly works. When it comes to women, clear and concise communication is paramount. You have to be assertive. Succinctly communicate what you need, expect and want. Speak up when she oversteps the boundaries so you are not mistaken for a pushover
Tell her exactly how you feel and find out how she feels about you too. You are better off losing her for declaring your true feelings than accept being her friend when you undoubtedly have strong romantic feelings for her. Please desist from twist her words and actions to suit what you want. Just because she smiled at you briefly doesn’t mean she is hopelessly in love with you only playing hard to get.
7) Avoid damaged girls
Nice guys unconsciously fall for damaged girls then try molding them into the perfect girlfriend. How many times have you heard of men who sacrificed everything to take their woman through college only to have them run off with another man once she graduates? Stop trying to be her father! When you control a vital part of a person’s life their feelings towards you change. At that moment they need you so they will meekly accept everything you throw at them, however, once they are past the rough patch, you no longer have any hold on them.
Pick a girl who adds value and compliments you not one you end up sacrificing everything for and get nothing in return. Remember, people only change when the choice comes from within so if she was a drunk and unfaithful when you first met don’t expect her to transform into an amazing woman just because she now has you.
8) Have a passion and ambitions
A man without ambitions lacks purpose in life so he willingly accepts whatever he is offered even when it is clearly a crappy deal. On the other hand, a man with ambitions has a strong inner drive to raise above average and triumph over other men. Now that’s the kind of guy both men and women want to be associated with. He has something to live for so he takes great care of himself. When you are passionate about something you become aggressive, grabbing every opportunity coming your way in pursuit of greatness.
9) Piss her off
The greatest mistake nice guys make is to hide their flaws so people expect a lot from them. When a bad guy does something wrong people don’t make so much fuss about it since its expected but when a good guy slips he is branded a hypocrite. Don’t hide your flaws so people won’t expect you to be perfect.
They will tell you a woman wants a man, who is sensitive, understanding, always there for her (the list is endless). Do all these things and I promise you will have one long dry spell! The same ladies will automatically friend zone you! Ladies find the perfect gentleman boring and unpredictable. So go ahead and piss her off then later shower her with affection. The secret to being great with women and life in general is balancing the ‘bad boy’ and ‘nice guy’ persona.
Written by Mark Maish